What’s in a name?

My name is Aileen. It’s not a very common name and neither is it a very unique name, I would say it is rather atypical. People perceive me to be a person who can be extremely aggressive sometimes stubborn, proud and impatient in other words, a toughie. For people who know me very well, they would tell you that it’s just a façade because they know how a softie I can be.  Well, I think both these perceptions are correct.  I am someone who has a tendency to resent authority if I don’t believe in whoever is imposing authority over me.  I am not overly ambitious and I desire love and companionship like any sane human being would.  I am a bit quick-tempered but I easily forgive and forget. I am a hopeless romantic at heart who still hopes to find true love’s kiss.

I’m passionate about music, although I don’t have any preference in terms of genre. I can sing and listen to rock, jazz, RnB, country, pop, rock and roll, classical, what have you. My mood for the day would pretty much dictate my song choice (i.e. sad = hard rock, happy = pop or RnB, nostalgic = The Beatles). I am a self-confessed American TV series addict. I have a great admiration for the people who create these TV series because they develop stories each and every week.  I love the movies! I used to watch movies 3-4 times a week. No matter what’s showing for that week, I’d watch ‘em all.  Crazy  right?! Yes! Oh, how I miss those days! I can’t do that anymore, you know. Why? Life happened, that’s all I can say. I am a voracious reader. I read almost everything including Nutrition Facts on food labels.

I am a single, supermom to a wonderful 8-year old wonder son.  I can be pretty much what you would expect an single mom to be , but I can be much more. To my son , I can be a mentor, a friend, a Lego enthusiast, a Gundam builder, a Transformer (particularly Arcee),  a sister, even a coffee mate (no pun intended) because I am all these and much more. Being a supermom is my passion and it excites me to know that I can contribute to my son’s future success because I am that someone’s mother.

About Helene and Adsila. HeLeNe (Ελένη) has an alter ego named  AdSiLa ανθοφοριά) One or both of them will be the mistresses of this blog. Helene would appreciate an audience, she’s nice like that  but Adsila won’t give a damn. A nice, catty conversation with your alter ego won’t hurt every once in a while but it can really be tiresome.

In Your Crucible

You took a risk with your heart again. You lost yet again. You are smiling but you are sad and angry.  You have been concealing your anger with smiles and lies. When the crazy comes in, you throw caution to the wind and do something you know you would definitely regret doing.When the lonely comes in, you crawl back under the bed to cry and be bitter.

Right now, you are in your crucible.

In your crucible there may be no joy, no laughter, no happy thoughts, no love.

In your crucible, there is agonizing pain, there is heartache, there are storms you have to weather.  In your crucible, you are in a fight with yourself.  No one knows when this battle will last, except you.

Everyone goes through life’s crucibles, no one comes out unscathed. There will always be something to be lost but there will always be something else to be gained. You can choose to go through it alone. Or not.

It would be nice to see you happy again. It’s been too long. You have been alone in your anger for so long.

I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. In fact, it’s going to be hell. But I’m here for you if you need someone to keep you from going to that bottomless pit of loneliness.

Just..
Let me in. Don’t let the lonely and the crazy in. Let ME in.

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